Subterfuge
by Tsubaki's Apprentice
Summary: Definition, a trick or deception used in order to achieve one's goal. That’s all fine and dandy, but all Naruto really cares about right now, is to know who’s wedding he’s showing up for? Better sum inside


Yeah I know I should be updating Winter Wish but I felt like writing this and so I did. I swear that more Winter Wish is on the way, but I want to make them really long and so it's going to take a while. So as an appetizer you can eat this up during the wait.

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Real summary:** Four years. It's been four years since the dobe left and his life took a turn for the worst. Now he's desperate enough to do anything to bring his dobe back. Even if it means forcing him to come attend...his _wedding_? 

**WARNING: Gaara and Itachi are going to seem way OOC some times, but bear with it because it fits in the story...and I don't have the heart to put them in character

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**Chapter One:**

The older man sighed wearily as he went over his reports. As usual his international sales were dropping once again._ "Why?" _You may ask well what it all boiled down to was the turmoil within his poor young son's **(warped and or nonexistent)** love life. Oh yes, it wasn't anything new when one of his employees was too distraught to work properly and then it showed up in his sales. Hell, if his wife liked the person enough she'd forced him to give the sap a few days off to straighten everything up. But it was different when it continued on for more than a few years...and also the fact that it was his son.

"You paged me sir?"

"Have you seen the stats on the international branch this month?" he asked, not bothering to waste his time pointing out how late the man was. It's not like he really cared anyway.

"Oh that silly old thing? Don't worry about it. I'm sure Sasuke will be back on his feet. He's just going through a bit of separation anxiety. He'll get over it"

"You said _last_ year...**and** the year before that"

"Did I? Well then I'm being optimistic" he said shrugging.

"I don't get it! It has never affected him this much before! What happened?"

"I believe it was Sai's poor motivational speech on how _'he should move on since Naruto had obviously gotten himself into a relationship with some weirdo diskless just like him'_ which caused his downfall. I didn't speak to him about it, since I thought he wouldn't take it so seriously since it was just Sai being crude again, but apparently I was wrong."

"This has got to stop. Not only for the good of the company, but for Sasuke's sanity. I don't want to have to repeat what I went through with Itachi"

"I agree...it's such a shame that they can't have a **normal** relationship of unresolved sexual tension..."

"Not everyone can live like one of your dirty books, Kakashi"

"But just imagine if it were true...I'm sure Jiraiya-sama would have a field day with all of the dysfunction and the near-relationship Sasuke and Naruto are embroiled in" he said dreamily.

"That's a** splendid** idea. Get me Jiraiya! Immediately!"

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"Oooh! Otouto you must've really gotten yourself into trouble this time. I just came back from eavesdropping on father, heard him and Kakashi talking about your branch again. I can't believe you let it flop for the fourth time in a row. If it was any other worker he'd have fired them by now. At the rate you're going, you might be the first Uchiha to be fired from this company!"

"Go away, Itachi" the man said dully.

"But don't you want to hear what they said?"

"Not in the least"

"Well I'll tell you anyway. I hear they're going to bring in a professional to help you with your problem" he whispered. This caused Sasuke to slam down the coffee mug he was drinking from.

"I don't have a **problem**. It's not my fault I had to be interested in the _dumbest person _on the face of the earth. You'd be like this too, if you were sane"he said clenching the handle to his mug. His older brother said nothing, noticing the murderous intent rolling off of him in waves now.

"Well I'm glad you think so. It helps when **one **person in the relationship knows about the sexual tension between them. It grabs the reader's attention and develops the plot easier" another person interrupted.

"What are you doing here you perverted geezer?" he asked glaring at the white haired man.

"Kakashi called me and told me he's gotten some great inspiration for a new Icha-Icha Paradise book so I rushed over. I can only assume after hearing your conversations, that you are the one I have to help out to get it. So what has my idiot grandson done to you this time?"

"Oh but Jiraiya-san, it's not what he_ has _done, it's what he **hasn't **done, in their 20 years knowing each other" Itachi pointed out, nodding. This cause Jiraiya to break out laughing and Sasuke's eye to twitch."

"I'm glad you find this so amusing"

"Oh I do, and you should be happy for that. Otherwise I wouldn't help you. But there's one thing I need to know before I work my magic" he said sobering down.

"And what is that?"

"Are you ready to do whatever I tell you to. No matter what, if I can promise you a certain someone, in return?"

"Without a doubt"

"That's good. Remember that you said that, the entire time. Now, it's time to catch a moron!"

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Naruto stopped his humming and sneezed suddenly, causing his colleague to look at him curiously before chuckling.

"Someone must be talking about you somewhere"

"No way! It's from being in this air conditioning so long. It's making it feel like I'm actually in the arctic somewhere! It's not even that hot outside"

"That's only because** you**, unlike some of us, are _use _to being in sweltering heat like this, so it doesn't affect you as much"

"It's not that hot back in Konoha...only about 10 degrees hotter"** (if you need to picture it, it's around 90 in Fahrenheit and 32 in Celsius)** You wanna go out and get an ice cream or something?"

"And let this humidity ruin the style I spent hours on perfecting? I think not. Go get Gaara and take him with you, he needs to get out anyway. He hasn't stepped out"

" Yeah yeah. I'm going" he muttered. Then he walked around the corner, to find that said person standing by the coffee machine where he left him about 3 hours ago. The red head raised his (imaginary) eyebrow at quizzically him.

"Your sister told me it's time I take you out for a walk so come on. You need to expend all of that caffeine if you want the next 5 cups to work anyway"

"If you weren't my cousin I might feel the desire to kill you" he spoke up as they walked out of the office building.

"You wouldn't _dream _of it. I'm the only one that lets you bull-guard the sand box from all of the other kids with your death glare" he said smiling.

"Hmph"

"Oh brighten up you sour puss! The sun is shining, and it's so nice and warm out. I can just tell it's going to be a wonderful day!"

"I'll believe it when I see it." he retorted. Suddenly they stopped when a tall scary looking man dressed in black walked up to him.

"Naruto Uzumaki?"

"Yes? That's me, look I don't recommend trying to mug us because then you'll trigger the inner serial killer in my cousin and not even_ the force _will help us" he said quickly. Gaara glared at his cousin's comment, while the man remained stoic.

"I'm Private Detective Ibiki Morino, I've been sent to find you hand you this" he said giving the man a manilla envelope.

"Hah. Not so perfect as we though are you fox-face? I knew there would come a time in your life, you'd find out you had an illegitimate child somewhere, and the mother would be demanding money from you"

"It's nothing like that"

"Then what is it?"

"A...wedding invitation..." he murmured.

"Then why does a private detective have to hand it to you?" he asked skeptically.

"My employer emphasized the importance of finding you and giving this to you. He even gave me the last address he knew you resided from, to find you"

"This must be a big shot wedding then. What does it say?" he said before leaning over the blonde boy's shoulder to read it. On a special square sheet of paper with a ribbon and in neat, calligraphy pen, was:

**You are cordially invited, to celebrate the wedding of **

_Haruno Sakura _

**and**

_Uchiha Sasuke_

**on the Saturday afternoon of August the third, **

**at four o'clock by the beach front of the Chidori Hotel**

**followed by a reception after the wedding**

**(I'm actually copying a wedding invitation I got off google search)**

Along with that were 2 plane tickets and reservations for the Chidori Hotel, as well as another note attached with them. It confused him because he could've sworn** (after having to forge so many signatures on his bad report cards) **that it was his grandfather's handwriting. But why would he be telling him to send along a male companion? Maybe this was his way of being senile at an old age. He was a mega-pervert after all.

"My employer asked that I send him notification as soon as I saw you"

"Oh! Right! Tell him I send my congrats to him on picking such a great girl. And also that I wouldn't miss it for the world"

"I will. Thank you sir"

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"He said what!?!" the brunette man shouted after hearing the news.

"Those were his exact words, sir" Ibiki added.

"Hmm, seems as if your optimism for getting out of this thing hasn't worked like you hoped. Maybe Jiraiya's idea was for you to become so use to marrying Lady Big head, you'll forget all about him" Itachi said smirking.

"Never. I'd rather die a thousand deaths. He'll see what's going on and he'll realize his mistake. Then he'll walk into my open arms once he realizes such a fool he was"

"And if he doesn't?" Itachi asked smiling.

"Then god help them both" Kakashi said sighing.

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Yay! Now doesn't this soud good to you? Let me know if you guys want more because I think this is going to have a lot of potential! 


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